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The Gorillaz Battle Royale
The Gorillaz Battle Royale is a What-if death battle Description Band infight! Today, the four members of the popular alternative rock band, The Gorrilaz, will fight to the death! Which band member is the toughest? Interlude Boomstick: Hey, Wiz? What's your favorite kind of music? Wiz: Huh... I guess I like rock, and techno. Maybe a little mixed together. In fact, I really like the band we're covering today! A virtual band! Boomstick: A virtual band? Like... Vocaloids? Wiz: Vocaloids? Oh GOD no. The Gorillaz! Boomstick: Murdoc. The Band leader and Bass Player. Wiz: 2-D. The Band front man and lead vocals. Boomstick: Noodle. The young and eccentric lead guitarist. Wiz: And Russel. All around musical genius and Band Drummer. Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And It's our job to analyse their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win, a Death Battle! Murdoc Cue - Stylo Instrumental Wiz: All bands have to start somewhere. And the Gorillaz are no exception. Despite becoming a world famous band, the Gorillaz started off as nothing more than a dream. Boomstick: A dream in the eye of a young boy with a hatred of his father, pitiful guitar skills and an allegiance to the dark lord himself, Satan. Wiz: This boy, was Murdoc Niccals. Boomstick: Fun fact! While writing the script for this episode, my computer kept trying to auto-correct Niccals into Satanical. Fitting, right? NAME: MURDOC ALPHONCE NICCALS AGE WHEN BAND WAS FORMED: 32 CURRENT AGE: 50 COUNTRY OF ORIGIN: ENGLAND ''' '''HEIGHT: 5 FOOT 7 BAND POSITION: LEADER AND BASE GUITARIST MOST INFLUENCED ALBUM: PLASTIC BEACH Wiz: Born in a sanatorium and abandoned by his parents not long after, Murdoc was left on the doorstep of one Jacob Sebastian Niccals. Jacob took the boy in as his son, but was a dreadful father. He was an aggressive drunk who verbally and physically assaulted both Murdoc, and his biological son Hannibal too. On top of that, he forced Murdoc to take part in humiliating talent shows in order to make money to fuel his alcohol supply. Boomstick: Wait, are we still talking about Murdoc's dad? Or my dad? Wiz: These stage shows made Murdoc come to the decision that he would one day become a musician. He would craft a band and take to the stage under his own direction. And no one else would ever tell him what to do. Boomstick: And, as a bonus, he could get rich and vandalize his father's grave repeatedly. For the first few years of the Gorillaz, his band didn't really go anywhere. His first thought was that this had to be due to his crappy band mates, and decide to fire them and hire new guys, who we'll get to in a moment. Wiz: But not long after, he decided that he needed a boost up. So he summoned the devil himself, and sold his soul for a bass guitar that would make any song of his an immediate hit. Boomstick: And damn, did it work! The Gorillaz suddenly began to grow very popular very quickly and Murdoc was right at the lead. Wiz: Of course, Murdoc isn't exactly the nicest person. And in the process of climbing to the top, he made a lot of enemies. Luckily, He has his ways of dealing with such things. ABILITIES CYBORG NOODLE BEST BASS GUITAR IN EXISTENCE 1969 CHEVROLET CAMARO INTELLIGENT AND MANIPULATIVE Boomstick: Hell yeah he does! so let's start out with the smaller stuff and work his way up. First up is his bass guitar that we mentioned earlier. Outside of making his songs all hits, it doesn't do much else. ''' Wiz: But it IS unbreakable. So it could make a fairly decent melee weapon. Next up is his car, Stylo. '''Boomstick: Stylo, is a 1969 Chevrolet Camaro. It rocks a V8 engine and can get from 0 to 60mph in just barely over 5 seconds. It also comes fitted with a nitro booster Murdoc installed himself AND it can turn into a shark submarine! Wiz: Then there is Murdoc's most impressive weapon. Cyborg Noodle. Created though a mix of cloning Noodle and building a robotic version of her, Murdoc created this mechanical beast as his bodyguard. She has a huge stash of weapons, including shotguns, pistols, machine guns and swords too. Boomstick: Absolutely beautiful! I'd love a killer robo bodyguard! Wiz: Despite how impressive Cyborg Noodle is, though, It's not Murdoc's most impressive ability. That would be his brain. Despite acting rather stupid and childish on occasion, Murdoc is an absolute genius. And not just in the traditional sense. Boomstick: Sure, he managed to build Cyborg Noodle, but his real intelligence comes from lying to and manipulating his foes. Most of his enemies simply are never able to track him down or, when they DO track him down, he tricks them into letting him escape again. Or, on occasion, killing themselves. Wiz: Like the time his arch nemesis Jimmy Manson, wanted to get back at Murdoc for not letting him join the Gorillaz. But Murdoc told Jimmy that he would let Jimmy join if he helped him kill Noodle. Of course, Murdoc was lying. Noodle was a key part of his band. But, despite hating Murdoc's guts, Jimmy fell for it hook line and sinker. But the plan was sabotaged by Murdoc, leading Noodle to survive and Jimmy to die instead. Boomstick: Savage. I like it! FEATS HAD HIS NOSE BROKEN 8 DIFFERENT TIMES SURVIVES CAR CRASHES CONSTANTLY BUILT CYBORG NOODLE BY HIMSELF FOUGHT HIS WAY THROUGH HELL AND BACK Wiz: Despite being an ordinary human. Murdoc has managed to survive some really intense stuff. He's had his nose broken in 8 ways. Once by Tony Chopper, twice by his own brother, and five times by Russel, after he found Murdoc making out with 2-D's girlfriend. Boomstick: Let's not forget that he's an absolutely fuckin' awful driver. He's constantly going way to fast and trying to impress girls, which leads to him crashing. All the time. ALL. THE. TIME. Wiz: But despite that, he always walks away from the crash more or less totally unharmed. Even when his passenger is put into a coma. And, of course, as mentioned before. He was smart enough to half clone, half build his own version of Noodle. Boomstick: We're forgetting the most important part, Wiz. The time he fought his way through hell! Wiz: That's right, Boomstick. When the time finally came for Murdoc to pay up and give his soul to the devil... well... he didn't. Boomstick: Needless to say, Ol' Beelzebub wasn't to happy and came up from hell to collect. And he took Noodle as a down payment. Wiz: While it isn't exactly known what happened down there, we DO know that both Murdoc and Noodle eventually emerged from Hell unharmed. WEAKNESSES PREFERS OUT THINKING HIS FOES, RATHER THAN BRUTE FORCE EXTREMELY COCKY AND VAIN CYBORG NOODLE IS PRONE TO MALFUNCTIONING CROTCH SHOTS Wiz: Despite all this, Murdoc is STILL never shown much aptitude in fighting. He's a coward who hides behind his intelligence to avoid getting hurt. Boomstick: And sometimes he just straight up hides. He spent a couple years hanging out in a basement in while hosting a radio shows that was supposedly being broadcast from Hawaii. Wiz: Despite this lack of fighting skills, he acts tough and full of himself all the time. Often overselling his own abilities and putting him in bad spots that he has no business being in. Boomstick: And, despite being smart enough to create cyborg noodle... well... She's not the most stable cyborg ever made. Just a single bullet to the head can cause her to drain energy much faster. Wiz: Not to mention that enough damage will cause her to malfunction and try to kill Murdoc himself. Boomstick: Wait, WHAT?! Wiz: I don't get it either. It's a huge design flaw. This is what the self destruct feature is for, people! Don't leave it out!! Ahem... Murdoc is a man who chased his dreams with a vengance until he finally managed to grab a hold of them. And anyone with that amount of determination is a force to be reckoned with. Boomstick: Yeah, especially when they cheat and ask the Devil for help. Murdoc: "Always be wary of people who use quotes"... Uhh... I don't know who said that... 2-D Cue - 19-2000 Instrumental Wiz: After firing his original bandmates, Murdoc began looking for replacements. Of course course he couldn't get just any old people in his bad. They needed to be perfect. Boomstick: Whoever he found to be his lead singer would need to have the proper appearance and personality of a true rock star, in addition to being a competent singer. Wiz: Or at least just the appearance part. And it wasn't long at all before he found the perfect Candidate. 2-D. NAME: STUART POT AGE WHEN BAND WAS FORMED: 20 CURRENT AGE: 38 COUNTRY OF ORIGIN: ENGLAND HEIGHT: 6 FOOT 2 BAND POSITION: LEAD SINGER AND FRONT MAN MOST INFLUENCED ALBUM: THE FALL Wiz: Born in Hertfordshire and raised in Crawley, Stuart Pot was an ordinary kid. Albeit a little dumb. Boomstick: And one day he fell out of a tree too. And the head injury he got from that didn't help him at all in terms of smartitude. Though it did make his hair colour switch from Brown to Blue for some reason. Wiz: Stuart's mental deficiency led to him never doing to well in school. Not for a lack of trying. More due to a lack of ability Boomstick: Despite being dumber than a sack of potatoes, Stuart was a kind guy who loved nothing more than rocking out to his favorite musicians. And this love of music was the one thing that gave him a purpose in life. ''' Wiz: With awful school grades and no interest in higher education, Stuart got a job working at Uncle Norm's Organ Emporium. And it was a fairly good way for his life to go... until Murdoc showed up. '''Boomstick: After firing his old bandmates, Murdoc decided the best way to get some replacements was to upgrade his equipment. So he hopped into his car and decided to ram-raid Uncle Norm's Organ Emporium to steal some synths. Wiz: However, he overestimated the power of the crash and ended up ramming straight into Stuart, giving an 8-ball fracture to Stuart's left eye and putting the poor guy into a coma. Boomstick: An 8-ball fracture? Wiz: Otherwise known as Hyphema, an 8-ball fracture is when the eye is slit open a little, causing blood to pool into the front of the eye and make the eye appear to be a pure black or pure red colour. Boomstick: That sounds badass... also painful. Wiz: Murdoc didn't manage to get away from this though and was sentenced to 30,000 hours of community service, including taking care of the Comatose Stuart. Boomstick: Which was not a very good move. I mean, If someone shot you, would YOU want them taking care of you in the hospital after that? Wiz: Regardless, Murdoc slipped the comatose Stuart out of the hospital and drove around, using him to impress girls... only to crash his car again. Luckily this woke him up from his coma... but it also fractured his right eye too. Leaving him with two permanently pitch black eyes. Boomstick: Y'know, Except when the artists decide to stylize him with white eyes. Wiz: Murdoc was so impressed by Stuart's new look that he hired him for his band on the spot and gave him the nickname 2-D, after his eyes which looked like 2 dents in his face. Boomstick: Ok! Enough backstory. We need to move onto his fighting stuff already!! Wiz: Well... about that... ABILITIES INCREDIBLE SINGER WIELDS KNIVES ...THAT'S ABOUT IT Boomstick: Let's check the notes and... uhh... wait what? Wiz: That's right...2-D has... nothing in terms of fighting. Boomstick: Well... he used knives once, right? Wiz: True... but he's never used them in combat. Boomstick: Something tells me this doesn't bode well for Stuart... What about feats! Does he have any feats going for him? FEATS SURVIVED TWO CAR CRASHES (BOTH CAUSED BY MURDOC) CAN SOMEHOW SEE OUT OF HIS EYES, DESPITE THE 8-BALL FRACTURES Wiz: Well.. he survived two car crashes. But both of them caused permanent injuries to his brain and eyes. And, despite being completely pooled with blood, 2-D CAN see out of his eyes somehow. Boomstick: Ok, and? Wiz: ...That's about it for feats too. Boomstick: Oh geez... WEAKNESSES MENTALLY HANDICAPPED NAIVE AND FAR TOO TRUSTING NO COMBAT SKILLS WHAT SO EVER SCARED OF WHALES Wiz: Weaknesses, on the other hand, are bountiful. Boomstick: Welp. RIP 2-D. Wiz: Falling from a tree at a young age, as well as both car crashes have cause major brain damage and left poor 2-D mentally handicapped. He's a nervous wreck most of the time and is terrified of anything that tries to scare him really. Boomstick: He was a good man. And provided the world with so much music and badass album covers. Wiz: And he's especially scared of whales for some reason. On top of all that, he's incredibly naive and trusting. He would follow Murdoc to the ends of the earth for nothing in return and has been kidnapped by the satanist far too many times. Boomstick: So long story short..? Wiz: Sorry, 2-D. But you don't stand a chance. 2-D: Uh Hello, I'm 2D, I'm the singer, and I play the pianos and I need a toilet . Hello, mum, you listening to the radio? Uh, Mom? I just got a bloo-RAY! Noodle Cue - Dare Instrumental Wiz: After Murdoc had hired 2-D and Russel... Boomstick: And don't worry. We'll be getting to Russel right after this. Wiz: ...The new Gorillaz was quickly coming together. They had even managed to snag a guitarist in 2-D's new girlfriend. A woman by the name of Paula Cracker. Buuuut, that didn't last too long. Boomstick: Murdoc, being the bastard that he is, seduced Paula and Russel caught them making out. After Russel broke Murdoc's nose five times and told 2-D what had happened, Paula was out of the bad very soon after. Unfortunately, this left the gorillaz without a guitarist. Wiz: That is until a mysterious FedEx crate showed up a couple of days later. Upon inspecting it, the crate burst open to reveal a preteen Asian girl wielding a guitar. She immediately performed an intense guitar solo before loudly proclaiming the word Noodle. Boomstick: And since that seemed to be all she could say, that's what they decided to call their new guitarist. NAME: UNKNOWN (GOES BY NOODLE) AGE WHEN BAND WAS FORMED: 8 CURRENT AGE: 25 COUNTRY OF ORIGIN: JAPAN HEIGHT: ??? BAND POSITION: LEAD GUITARIST AND BACKUP VOCALS MOST INFLUENCED ALBUM: DEMON DAYS Wiz: Born in Osaka, this girl had a very... odd life. Boomstick: For one, no one even knows her name. Including herself! Wiz: While that IS true, I was referring to how she, along with 22 other children, were taken from their families at a very young age to take part in a secret government project to create the ultimate super soldiers for their army. Boomstick: Oh yeah, that. Well, I mean. That's kinda odd, I guess... Wiz: This project went on for a couple of years, but eventually, the Japanese government decided that the project was just too unethical and dangerous and they had to scrap the project. Boomstick: And, to avoid any scandal getting out and to cover their tracks, they ordered that all 23 children be terminated. Wiz: Mr. Kyuzo, the lead scientist on the project, was given the order to kill, and he did so, killing 22 of the 23 children. But when it came to Noodle's turn, Kyuzo found himself too emotionally attached to the girl. So he faked her death himself, and hypnotized her into forgetting all of her super soldier training. And, finally, as the last step of his plan, he shipped her off to England to escape the eye of the Japanese government. Boomstick: And that was how she met Murdoc and the others. And all of her badass super soldier shit was locked away in the back of her mind until she were to here a very specific codeword. And eventually... she heard it. "Ocean Bacon." ABILITIES INSANE GUITAR SKILLS LARGE WEAPONRY COLLECTION: MACHINE GUNS, SWORDS, ETC. CAN SPEAK EVERY LANGUAGE KNOWN TO MAN TRAINED AS A CHILD SUPER SOLDIER Wiz: that's not to say her abilities were gone completely while she was hypnotized. They were just locked away subconsciously. And hearing the phrase simply let her access this part of her mind completely. Boomstick: And this part of her mind is fuckin' badass! Aside from being incredibly skilled with a guitar, but she can also speak and understand every language known to man. Wiz: That's not the limit to her brain power though. Thanks to the super soldier training she was put through, the time it takes her to think and process images has been trained to peak-human levels. As well as her muscles, giving her strength and speed FAR above the average human. Boomstick: More importantly though, She's been trained to assemble and use every weapon known to humanity with precision and ease. Since she remembered this information, she gained a large collection or weapons including swords, guns, grenades... *sigh*... And Nunchucks. Wiz: Overall, though, she's most comfortable with guns and swords. FEATS LEAPT 20 FOOT INTO THE AIR WHEN SHE WAS 8 BEAT UP RUSSEL WITH EASE WHEN SHE WAS 10 SHOT DOWN A FIGHTER PLANE WITH A SUBMACHINEGUN KILLED CYBORG NOODLE Boomstick: Even when she was an 8 year old amnesiac, Noodle was capable of some crazy shit. When she was 8, the first thing she did upon arriving at Kong Studios was leap 20 foot into the air while playing the guitar. Wiz: Keep in mind that the world record for a standing vertical jump is 64 inches off the ground, just over 5 foot. And Noodle, when she was still a little girl, could beat that 4 times that record with ease! Boomstick: Only 2 years later, she was able to beat Russel up while play fighting with him, flipping his entire body over with absolute ease. ''' Wiz: Her skills only improved with age too. Once she turned 20 (she had her memories back by this point), she was capable of shooting the pilot of a fighter jet with a basic submachine gun from the deck of a cruise ship, killing him in one shot and downing the plane. '''Boomstick: But not only that, she was able to beat and kill Cyborg Noodle in a sword duel. And keep in mind that cyborg noodle has all the same skills as the original Noodle! WEAKNESSES CAN BE CHILDISH AND PETTY SHORT TEMPER NO DEFENSIVE ABILITIES Wiz: Despite all her training, it's important to note that the super soldier program was closed down before it was completed. As such, Noodle was never given Emotional training. As such, she has trouble controlling both her childish immature tendencies, and her short temper. Both can easily get the best of her. Boomstick: And let's not forget that she doesn't really have much in the way of defensive feats, So there is no real way to determine how much punishment she can actually take. Wiz: With all that said, Noodle is a beast. And even though she's the youngest of the Gorillaz, she's easily the most experienced fighter of the group. Boomstick: But will it be enough to take down Murdoc's manipulative ways? And what about Russel, who we've not even touched on yet? Wiz: Well let's find out... Noodle: Sometimes, I wish our studio would burn down, because, it’s so infested, and evil, and diseased, hai. Russel Cue - Clint Eastwood Instrumental Wiz: After recruiting 2-D, but before finding Noodle, Murdoc needed a drummer for his new band. Boomstick: But, being the picky bastard he is, he wasn't going to settle for just ANY plain old drummer. He needed the best. ''' Wiz: But it turns out he didn't need to wait long. He heard tales of a young american man who was working in a record shop just down the street. An american man known for his amazing musical abilities and style. A man known as Russel Hobbs. '''NAME: RUSSEL HOBBS AGE WHEN BAND WAS FORMED: 23 CURRENT AGE: 41 COUNTRY OF ORIGIN: AMERICA HEIGHT: FUCKIN' HUGE BAND POSITION: DRUMMER MOST INFLUENCED ALBUM: THE GORILLAZ Wiz: Born in Brooklyn, New York, in 1975, Russel was an extremely gifted child. Boomstick: Well known in his neighborhood for his amazingly good manners and eloquent speech... Wiz: You're speech is surprisingly eloquent today too, Boomstick. Boomstick: *Burps* Wiz: ... Never mind. Anyway, as a prodigy in pretty much every field, Russel was easily given a spot at the Xavier School For Young Achievers. Boomstick: Ooooor at least he HAD a spot... until he was possessed by a demon and attacked a load of his fellow students. Upon being subdued, Russel fell into a four year coma until a preacher showed up and exorcised the demon from him. Wiz: Russel, not clean of demonic entities tried to return to his old school, but they wouldn't let him. So he instead attended Brooklyn high. It was here were the boy met a large group of musically talented boys and where he learned to play the drums. Boomstick: However, just like most heroes who live in New York, it wasn't long before tragedy struck. One day, while hanging out with his friends, a of people wearing red hoodies flew past in a Humvee and gunned down the entire group, leaving Russel as to only survivor. ' Wiz: In that moment, Russel somehow acted like a vacuum and sucked up the souls of all of his suddenly deceased friends, ans all of them lived on inside of him. '''Boomstick: After that, he was sent to live with his uncle in the UK for his own safety. It was then then Murdoc kidnapped him to make him join the Gorillaz. ' Wiz: Russel originally planned on just beating up Murdoc and walking out. But he changed his mind when he was genuinely interested by the music. '''ABILITIES CHILD PRODIGY IN EVERY FIELD INTENSE STRENGTH RADIATION INDUCED GIGANTISM UNUSUALLY HIGH FASHION KNOWLEDGE Boomstick: Okay, Okay! Enough backstory! Let's hear what he can do!! Wiz: Alright, well I'll kick it off by going back to a previous point I mentioned. Russel was a child prodigy in every field. He is incredibly intelligent in pretty much every subject imaginable, including math, science, history, sporting, fashion design... Boomstick: All of that? Really?! Wiz: Yep. Despite his love of food and... large gut... he's actually very athletic. Most of his mass is made of muscle, not fat. And while he's not exactly fast, he's got a lot of stamina and can keep going for ages. Boomstick: Heh heh heh... just like me~ Wiz: Ugh... ANYWAY... this large frame also gives him incredible strength, able to lift up any of his band mates, with one hand, with literally no trouble whatsoever. Boomstick: But the best part is that so far, we've only been talking about Russel during the first two "phases" of the Gorillaz story. Wiz: That's right. During the plastic beach arc, Russel was possessed by yet another demon and, in a rage, ran off of a pier and dove head first into the pacific ocean and just began swimming out to sea. Boomstick: And that's when things got all Godzilla up in this bitch! During his little swim, Russel drank down so much radioactive waste that he began mutating. But not like the ugly growths or extra limbs way. HE GREW FUCKING ENORMOUS!! Wiz: Well... It's true! Russel grew to be about the size of a three story building! About 34 feet tall!! That's like, 6 fully grown men standing on each other's shoulders. Boomstick: Ok, so maybe he's not QUITE as big as godzilla... but hey! He's like a third of the height of Gamera! And that still dwarfs other humans! FEATS BROKE MURDOC'S NOSE 5 TIMES SWAM THE PACIFIC OCEAN TO PLASTIC BEACH ATE A SHARK THREW A WHALE Wiz: Russel has had feats both before and after his transformation. When he was the size of a regular human, he broke Murdoc's nose five times, after finding out out he'd seduced 2-D's girlfriend. Boomstick: And let's not forget that he swam through the pacific ocean!! Even after he'd grown, he had to swim still. There were only a few shallower parts of the ocean where he could stand and wade. Regardless of size, that takes some incredible stamina and endurance. Wiz: And after he transformed, Russel was able to easily grabs sharks out of the water and eat them. Imagine how hard it is to reach into a river and catch a fish. Now imagine you were trying to do that to a shark. Yeah, it's quite a feat when you think about it. Boomstick: But most impressively, HE THREW A KILLER WHALE!! Wiz: Orcas, most commonly known as killer whales, are massive. And the largest known killer whale was 32 feet long. Only 2 feet shorter than Russel. And he was able to effortlessly grab the beast by it's tail and hurl it away into the horizon! WEAKNESSES SLOW AND BULKY CAN OFTEN GET EMOTIONAL OR SENTIMENTAL TOO BIG TO ACTUALLY PLAY THE DRUMS ANYMORE INCREDIBLY SUSCEPTIBLE TO POSSESSION FROM SPIRITS AND DEMONS Boomstick: He sounds pretty damn powerful. How is someone going to ever take him down? Wiz: Well, despite being athletic and full of stamina... his bulky frame prevents him from moving very fast. Plus, he can often let his emotions get the better of him, seeing as he's a very kindhearted person inside. In fact, even though he acts all intimidating and tough, he tends to a pacifist a majority of the time. Meaning he has very little combat experience. Boomstick: Is that all? Wiz: Well... No. Remember how I said he acted like a vacuum to his friend's souls when they died. That's because after that very first demon was exorcised from him, his body was left wide open to outside spirits possessing him, and often sucks them in himself! And not only that. Only one soul can be "active" in Russel's body at a time. Whenever a spirit takes control, Russel's body is helpless to the whims of the spirit. Though one good hit will generally be enough to wind the spirit and give Russel full control back. Boomstick: Well that seems kind of situational. It's not like he's currently possessed or anything. Wiz: Well... I suppose. I suppose we'll just have to see... Noodle: 前方の道路を知るために、その戻ってくるに頼みます Russel: Sister’s tryin'a tell you: "To know the road ahead, ask those coming back". That shit’s deep. Noodle: Yeah! Polls Who do you WANT to win? Murdoc 2D Noodle Russel Who do you THINK will win? Murdoc 2D Noodle Russel Fight Wiz: Alright, the Combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLLLLLLLE!! All four of the band members stood out in the graveyard outside of Kong studios, all four of them glaring at each other. Except for 2-D who looked like he was having a nervous breakdown. "M-murdoc..? Do we haf'ta do this? Why do we haf'ta do this?! I don't wanna kill anyone. I don't wanna die!!" 2-D whimpered. Murdoc gave 2-D a slap around the back of the head. "Oh, quit yer fuckin' whining already, D! Be a fuckin' man for once!" Murdoc shouted, holding his guitar as it it were a sword. 2-D gulped and brandished a kitchen knife in each hand.The giant Russel said nothing, and simply cracked his knuckles, glaring down. Noodle started at the other three for a moment, before lowering her kitty mask. It was time... FIGHT Murdoc and 2-D both raised their weapons, before they could take even a single step, Noodle pulled a case out from behind her and hurled it into the air. The case opened and gun parts flew out. Before any of them could react, Noodle leapt up after them, grabbed the pieces and shoved them together. She landed again, holding a fully assembled submachine gun in each hand. She aimed one at 2-D and one at Murdoc. And then she fired. The two of them immediately dived for cover, 2-D screaming while he did so. Russel curled his hand into a fist and attempted to slam it down on Noodle, who effortlessly dived out of the way, firing back. Meanwhile, behind cover, 2-D was hyperventilating. "I-I can't handle this, Murdoc! I'm freakin' out!" He said, panicking. Murdoc groaned out and rolled his eyes, before giving 2-D a smirk. "Don't worry, D. I think I got a plan. We'll be fine~" "B-but... the rules said that only one person can survive" 2-D questioned him hesitantly. "D, you're talking to guy who sold his soul to the Satan and got out of paying him. If anyone can work their way around the rules, it's me!" Murdoc replied. 2-D tilted his head. That didn't seem like it should be true, but that smile Murdoc gave 2-D... he felt like he could trust it. "...O-ok, Murdoc. What's the plan?" "It's quite simple, D. You head out there and distract 'em while I fetch ol' Stylo. Cyborg Noodle is waiting in the back seat. If I can turn her on, we're golden! Don't worry, I won't let 'em kill ya!" Murdoc explained with an evil grin. 2-D fell for it easily. "A-alright, Murdoc! I trust you!" He said, brandishing his knives again. He peeked out over the cover to see Noodle spraying bullets at Russel, who was using his massive muscly arm to simply block them. 2-D nodded to himself bravely and hopped out of cover, running away from Murdoc and swinging his knives around. "HEY LOOK AT ME! I'M A DISTRACTION!!" Noodle and Russel turned away from each other for a moment to noticed 2-D. Noodle aimed one of her guns at 2-D and began firing at both him and Russel. Russel continued to block bullets and 2-D just ran like hell, just barely keeping ahead of the bullets as they fired in a stream right behind him. Murdoc took the opportunity to run away. It wasn't long at all before he found stylo. He grinned and hopped into the drivers seat, starting her up. Noodle was busy dodging out of the way of Russel's attacks while 2-D was swinging his knives around wildly, hoping neither of them would get too close. Suddenly, the sound of a roaring engine echoed around the graveyard. All three bandmates turned to see Stylo driving at breakneck speed, aiming right for Noodle. Just as the car was about to hit her, she hopped up onto the hood of the car and then jumped again to go over it. But she didn't expect what happened next. Cyborg Noodle suddenly shot up THROUGH the roof of Stylo and delivered a powerful uppercut to Noodle, knocking the guns out of her hands and sending Noodle down to the ground in a heap. Stylo skidded to a halt and Cyborg Noodle landed on top of it, catching Noodle's guns and reloading them. 2-D looked ecstatic! "Murdoc! You DID come back to save me! I knew I could trust-" Before 2-D could finish his sentence, Cyborg Noodle aimed one of it's guns at 2-D and shot him right between the eyes, killing him instantly. K.O.: Murdoc > 2-D Noodle hopped back up to her feet and drew two nunchucks and began spinning them. Cyborg Noodle leapt off of Stylo and began firing down at Noodle, who used the spinning nunchucks to block the incoming bullets. Murdoc began revving up Stylo again, but Russel seemed a little out of it. He looked down at 2-D's dead body and suddenly heard a voice in his head. "Huh... it's kinda comfy in here, Russ..." Echoed 2-D's voice. Russel shook his head. He didn't have time to focus on the fact his bandmate's soul was passively living in his head. He had a fight to win! While Noodle and her cyborg counterpart were fighting, Murdoc Drove towards Russel, grabbing one of Cyborg Noodle's shotguns from the back seat and firing up towards Russel's face. But Russel was quick to notice. He lifted his foot and brought it crashing down onto the hood of Stylo, stopping the car dead in it's tracks and destroying the engine, preventing any further use. Eventually, Cyborg noodle ran out of ammo, so it tossed the guns aside and charged at Noodle, brandishing a sword. Regular noodle stuck with her nunchucks though, expertly swinging them to block incoming sword swipes. Cyborg Noodle attempted a downward slash onto Noodle's head, but she brought up her nunchucks and grappled onto the blade, quickly disarming the cyborg. She threw the nunchucks aside, now opting to use the sword she'd just taken from the robot instead. And in one swift motion... Cyborg Noodle was decapitated. The robot exploded shortly after. Noodle turned her attention to the other two. Murdoc kicked open the door to his car and crawled out, gripping onto Cyborg Noodle's shotgun still. He aimed it up at Russel one last time. Russel noticed. "Oops." Russel said in a serious voice. "I squashed the car, but missed the bug." He then lifted his foot once again and stomped down on Murdoc. K.O.: Russel > Murdoc Noodle and Russel faced down with each other again. Noodle held her sword up, preparing to attack, and Russel simply stood there, waiting for the girl's approach. But then he heard something again... "Heh heh heh heh..." "M-murdoc? You're here too?!" "Shut the fuck up, D." Murdoc's spirit had made it into Russel's mind too. But unlike 2-D, who had already given up, Murdoc didn't plan on letting death keep him from winning. He began taking control. Russel's eyes went blank and his muscles all relaxed. His head drooped right down as if her were looking at the ground. And then a gigantic ghostly image of Murdoc formed from Russel's head. "Alright, Noods..." Said Murdoc. "Let's see ya try to kill a ghost!" Behind her mask, Noodle gritted her teeth in anger. Murdoc stepped right around Russel's vulnerable body and went straight for Noodle, attempting to stomp on her. Noodle easily back flipped out of the way though. Murdoc's ghost curled it's hand into a fist and attempted to punch down on to noodle, to crush her, but she once again easily dodged. Then she leapt up, running up Murdoc's arm while it was there. Once she reached his shoulder, she jumped again, towards Russel, and delivered a powerful kick to the giant's forehead. The kick was powerful enough to wake Russel up again, causing Murdoc to vanish, getting suck right back into Russel's head.# The kick also caused Russel to stumble backwards before falling onto his back. Noodle prepared her sword as she fell, making sure her aim was perfect and... SHING!! She landed on Russel's forehead... her sword stabbed straight in to his head and into his brain, killing him. Noodle took a deep breath and gripped her sword, pulling it free from Russel's forehead. Then she hopped off of him and calmly walked away from the camera. She was done. Results K.O. Cue - Feel Good inc. Instrumental from 1:05 Noodle sits on the edge of her floating island, still wearing her mask, while strumming quietly at her guitar. Meanwhile, Russel and 2-D are having a lighthearted discussion while in line for heaven. Murdoc, on the other hand is chained up in hell, with demons surrounding him. Boomstick: Welp. So much for a 5th gorillaz album. Wiz: Let's start with the basics. 2-D, as we said before, stood no chance in this fight. A combination of his naivety and lacking combat skills basically made him nothing more than a target on the battlefield. Boomstick: Yeah... honestly, it's a wonder he lasted as long as he did! Wiz: Next up was Murdoc. Despite being a tactical and manipulative genius... Noodle and Russel have always shown to be smart enough to never believe a word Murdoc says. It would take a miracle for Murdoc to be able to manipulate either of them. Especially Russel, who has actively attacked Murdoc when the satanist tried to worm his way out of seducing 2-D's girlfriend. Boomstick: And while Cyborg Noodle is a very impressive technological creation, not only is it prone to breaking down... but it's been killed by regular Noodle before. So there was no doubt it wouldn't last. Wiz: This part was where it began to get tricky though. Noodle's skills are amazing, but Russel's size and brute strength would have easily been able to take her down if given the opportunity. However, the battle ended up going in Noodle's favor for two reasons. Firstly, Noodle's speed and agility meant it would be nearly impossible for the slow and bulky Russel to catch her. She could easily evade any of his grabs or stomps. In fact, She did a similar thing in the music video for "Rock the house" when she avoids the giant Del stepping on her. Boomstick: And the second reason is cuz she has tits. Tits always win~ Wiz: WHAT?! No! That's not it!! Boomstick: It's not? Huh. Well it should be! Wiz: The ACTUAL second reason was because of Russel's susceptibility to possession. With his body acting like a vacuum to spirits, there was no doubt the spirits of anyone who dies before him in this fight would be pulled in. In this case, 2-D and Murdoc. And when the spirits take control, while they DO have a physical form, they leave Russel completely vulnerable to attack, meaning Russel, and any spirits inside of him, would be made quick work of. Boomstick: Looks like you shouldn't DARE mess with Noodle! Wiz: The winner is Noodle Do you agree with this result? (If not, leave a comment below) Yes No Category:Mattardis Category:'Musician' themed Death Battles Category:Battle Royales Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:'Series' themed Death Battles Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:Mattardis' completed Death Battles